350+ Dad Jokes That Are So Bad, They're Good

Dad jokes are the perfect mix of cringe and comedy, designed to make you roll your eyes and chuckle at the same time. Here’s a shuffled collection of over 350 dad jokes that will keep you laughing, groaning, and maybe even stealing a few for your next gathering. Let’s dive in!


Random Dad Jokes (Everyday)

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Why Did the...

  1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  3. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
  4. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
  5. Why did the stadium get so cool? It was filled with fans.
  6. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
  7. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.
  8. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
  9. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What Do You Call... (╥‸╥)

  1. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
  2. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
  4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  5. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
  6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  7. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
  9. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.


Pun-tastic One-Liners

  1. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
  2. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
  3. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
  4. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
  5. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
  6. I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
  7. I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the fridge all along.

πŸŽƒ Animal Antics

  1. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
  2. Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
  3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  4. How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs.
  5. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? They’re too shellfish.
  6. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
  7. Why don’t cows have any money? Because the farmer milked them dry.

Knock Knock Jokes

  1. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Cow says.
    Cow says who?
    No, cow says MOO!

  2. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Atch.
    Atch who?
    Bless you!

  3. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Boo.
    Boo who?
    Don’t cry; it’s just a joke.


Question and Answer Fun ΰ²₯‿ΰ²₯

  1. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
  2. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
  3. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  4. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  6. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
  7. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

Seasonal Chuckles

  1. What does a snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
  2. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  3. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
  4. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone.

Classic Dad Humor

  1. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
  2. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  3. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
  4. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
  5. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

🀣 Foodie Funnies

  1. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumby.
  2. What do you call cheese that’s sad? Blue cheese.
  3. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  4. What did one plate say to the other? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
  5. How do tacos say grace? Lettuce pray.
  6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  7. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  8. Why don’t bananas ever feel lonely? Because they hang out in bunches.

Workplace Chuckles

  1. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It caught a virus.
  2. Why don’t elevators ever work out? They’re always going up and down.
  3. What’s the loudest pet you can own? A trumpet.
  4. Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field.
  5. Why did the bank teller switch careers? She lost interest.



Transportation Humor

  1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
  2. What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A Toy-Yoda.
  3. What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
  4. Why don’t cars ever get tired? Because they always have wheels to spare.
  5. How do boats say hello? They wave.

Family Giggles κ‰‚(ΛŠα—œΛ‹*)

  1. Dad: Can you put my shoes on?
    Kid: I don’t think they’ll fit me.

  2. Dad: I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
    Kid: How is it?
    Dad: It’s impossible to put down.

  3. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to reach new heights.

  4. What’s the best time of day for a dad joke? Anytime it’s pun o’clock!

Animal Jokes

  1. Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
  2. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  3. What do you get if you cross a dog with a magician? A labracadabrador.
  4. Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  5. What do you call a dinosaur with bad eyesight? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

πŸ€ͺ Science and Nature Laughs

  1. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  2. Why did the math teacher break up with geometry? She just couldn’t deal with all the angles.
  3. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
  4. How do trees access the internet? They log on.
  5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

More Puns for Fun

  1. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  2. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
  3. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
  4. How do you make 7 even? Take away the “s.”
  5. Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.

Holiday Humor

  1. Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
  2. What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints.
  3. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner? It wanted to give a roast.
  4. How do ghosts celebrate Halloween? They boogie down.

Laughing Through Life

  1. What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.
  2. Why don’t calendars ever get tired? They stay up to date.
  3. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
  4. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
  5. Why don’t skeletons climb mountains? They don’t have the guts.


School and Education Laughs

  1. Why was the math book always stressed? It had too many problems.
  2. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class? Because her students were so bright.
  3. Why did the kid eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  4. Why couldn’t the pencil write any more? It was feeling pointless.
  5. What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public? A private tutor.
  6. Why was the music teacher in trouble? She got caught with sharp notes.

Tech-Savvy Dad Jokes

  1. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  2. What did the spider do on the computer? Made a web page.
  3. Why don’t robots ever panic? They always keep their circuits together.
  4. Why did the smartphone go broke? It lost all its contacts.
  5. Why don’t skeletons use computers? They don’t have enough backbone.
  6. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Microchips.

πŸ˜† Relationship Chuckles

  1. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
  2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.
  3. My wife said I never listen to her… or something like that.
  4. Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.
  5. Why did the wife bring a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains.
  6. I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She said I’d never make it. Guess what? I rode pasta her.

Sports and Fitness Jokes

  1. Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.
  2. Why did the golfer bring extra socks? In case he got a hole in one.
  3. Why don’t basketball players ever go on vacation? They’d get called for traveling.
  4. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans.
  5. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out.
  6. Why are spiders great baseball players? Because they catch flies.

Household Humor ༄˖°.πŸ‚.ೃ࿔*:･

  1. What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  2. Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
  3. Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
  4. Why can’t you tell secrets in a garden? The potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
  5. Why did the broom get promoted? It swept the competition.
  6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Job Jokes

  1. Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field.
  2. Why did the banker switch careers? She lost interest.
  3. What’s an electrician’s favorite dessert? Shock-a-lot cake.
  4. Why don’t construction workers ever tell secrets? Too many tools around.
  5. Why did the optometrist quit his job? He couldn’t see a future in it.



Corny But Classic

  1. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  2. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
  3. What do you call a magician’s dog? A Labracadabrador.
  4. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
  5. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
  6. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s R, but it’s the C.

Holiday-Themed Jokes

  1. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  2. Why do reindeer wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  3. How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
  4. What do turkeys use to send messages? Gobblegrams.
  5. Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken.

😬 More Hilarious One-Liners

  1. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in 10 did.
  2. My car’s brakes are so good, they’ll stop on a dime—and pick it up, too!
  3. I asked the librarian if books could be checked out online. She said, “Over my dead body!”
  4. I gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge.
  5. I started a new business making yachts in my attic. The sails have been through the roof.
  6. Why did the scarecrow sit under the sun? He needed to rest his straw-tan.

Travel Jokes

  1. Why don’t mountains get tired? They stay grounded.
  2. Why do planes never get tired? They always have a runway.
  3. What do you call a travel agent who loves camping? An in-tents planner.
  4. Why don’t keys ever go on vacation? Because they’re always locked into work.
  5. What do you call a traveling snail? An escar-go.

Music and Art Laughs

  1. What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trombone.
  2. Why did the musician go to jail? He got caught with sharp notes.
  3. What’s a snowman’s favorite instrument? The cool drum.
  4. Why did the artist break up with their partner? They didn’t draw them anymore.
  5. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa!

Parenting Giggles

  1. Why don’t kids ever clean their rooms? Because it’s beneath them.
  2. My kid said they wanted a trampoline. I said, “Okay, just don’t jump to conclusions.”
  3. I told my son I was reading a book on teleportation. He said, “Dad, you’ve lost your place!”
  4. When my daughter said she was cold, I told her to go stand in the corner—it’s 90 degrees there.
  5. My kids asked me why I talk to myself. I said, “Sometimes I need expert advice.”



Workplace Humor

  1. Why did the office worker eat a clock? It was time-consuming.
  2. Why did the stapler break up with the paperclip? They just didn’t connect anymore.
  3. Why don’t coworkers ever borrow each other’s calendars? They’re booked.
  4. What’s the best way to quit your job? With a resignation letter of intent-ion.
  5. Why did the employee stay home? They couldn’t handle the workload.

πŸ₯³ Cooking and Food Jokes

  1. Why did the chef quit his job? He just couldn’t make enough dough.
  2. Why was the pizza sad? It was feeling crusty.
  3. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
  4. What’s a pepper’s favorite instrument? The bell.
  5. Why did the baker get promoted? They rose to the occasion.

🐢 Technology Jokes

  1. Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts.
  2. Why are robots terrible at relationships? They can’t handle human touch.
  3. Why did the keyboard get promoted? It was always typing up great ideas.
  4. What’s a hacker’s favorite season? Phishing season.
  5. Why don’t AI bots tell jokes? They lack a sense of byte.

Nature and Outdoors

  1. Why don’t ants get lost? They have their own GPS—Global Positioning System.
  2. Why do trees love spring? It’s their time to leaf out.
  3. What do clouds wear under their clothes? Thunderwear.
  4. Why don’t flowers play hide and seek? They’d always be found—they’re never far from their roots.
  5. What’s a bee’s favorite type of candy? Buzzzzzfeeders.

Science and Tech Laughs

  1. Why are atoms great at comedy? They always get a reaction.
  2. Why can’t you trust a scientist? Because they’ll experiment on you.
  3. Why don’t skeletons do stand-up? They don’t have the guts.
  4. What did one cell say to its friend during a party? Stop mitosis, you’re dividing us!
  5. What’s a pirate’s favorite element on the periodic table? Arrr-gon.

Halloween-Themed Jokes

  1. Why don’t ghosts need Wi-Fi? They live in the ether-net.
  2. Why did the vampire buy mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
  3. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
  4. Why do mummies hate going on vacation? They’re afraid of unraveling.
  5. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

🀀 Winter and Christmas Jokes

  1. Why do snowmen always smile? They’ve got cool attitudes.
  2. What’s Santa’s favorite kind of music? Wrap music.
  3. Why did the gingerbread man go to therapy? He was feeling crumby.
  4. How does a snowflake greet its friends? Ice to meet you.
  5. Why don’t elves share their toys? They’re elf-centered.

Miscellaneous Fun

  1. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
  2. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
  3. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
  4. Why don’t eggs ever get into arguments? They don’t want to crack under pressure.
  5. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promotions? He was outstanding in his field.

More Classic Dad Humor

  1. Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  2. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
  3. Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
  4. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? Stake.
  5. Why did the clock get kicked out of school? It was ticking off the teacher.

Animal Antics Continued

  1. Why can’t you trust a fish? Because they’re always acting a little fishy.
  2. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
  3. What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
  4. Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
  5. What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A python.

Geography and Travel Jokes

  1. Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in.
  2. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  3. Why did the bicycle move to Paris? It wanted to be part of a French revolution.
  4. How do oceans say goodbye? They wave.
  5. Why do mountains tell great stories? They’re grounded in reality.

πŸ˜ƒ Foodie Fun

  1. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  3. Why don’t oranges play cards? They might get juiced.
  4. What’s a tortilla chip’s favorite dance? The salsa.
  5. Why was the salad so quiet? It didn’t want to stir up any dressing-room drama.

Pun-derful Jokes

  1. I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  2. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
  3. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
  4. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  5. Why don’t skeletons play in bands? They don’t have enough organs.

Winter and Snowy Chuckles

  1. What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
  2. How does a snowman greet his friends? Chill out, everyone!
  3. Why did Frosty go to therapy? He had a meltdown.
  4. What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
  5. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card? He went down in history.



Music and Entertainment

  1. What’s a music teacher’s favorite key? The one to their classroom.
  2. Why did the singer get a ladder? To reach the high notes.
  3. What’s a skeleton’s favorite dance move? The twist-and-bone.
  4. Why did the orchestra break up? Too much sax and violins.
  5. What do you call a famous lobster? A claw-lebrity.

Science and Space Jokes

  1. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? She needed more space.
  2. How does the solar system hold up? With stellar support.
  3. What did the star say to its friend? You’re a real star.
  4. Why didn’t the planet get invited to the party? It had no atmosphere.
  5. Why do meteors never get married? Because they fall hard and burn out.

Family Jokes

  1. My kid said, “Dad, I’m cold!” I said, “Go stand in the corner—it’s 90 degrees!”
  2. My daughter asked, “Can I have a bookmark?” I cried. “After all these years, you still don’t know my name is Dad!”
  3. Why did the dad throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
  4. My son asked if I wanted to hear a joke about construction. I said, “I’m still working on it.”
  5. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

😡 Workplace and Office Jokes

  1. Why did the calendar quit his job? He felt like his days were numbered.
  2. Why did the office plant get promoted? It was rooting for success.
  3. Why don’t coworkers trust elevators? They’re always up to something.
  4. What’s a copier’s favorite song? “I’m Stuck on You.”
  5. Why was the meeting so cold? Too many fans of the agenda.

Tech and Digital Jokes

  1. Why did the smartphone get glasses? It lost all its contacts.
  2. Why do computers get tired? They run out of cache.
  3. What’s an AI’s favorite drink? Java.
  4. How do you stop a computer from overheating? Give it a fan-tastic break.
  5. Why don’t printers ever win at poker? They’re always jamming.

🎯 More Corny Laughs

  1. What’s a pirate’s favorite workout? Planks.
  2. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had drumsticks.
  3. How does a penguin fix its house? Igloos it together.
  4. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  5. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Eve.

Even More Laughs for Every Occasion

  1. What do you call a fish with a tie? Sofishticated.
  2. Why did the math teacher go to the beach? To work on her tan-gents.
  3. What’s a kangaroo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop.
  4. Why was the broom late to work? It swept in.
  5. What’s a dog’s favorite instrument? The trombone.

Classic One-Liners

  1. I once told a joke about a roof. It went over everyone’s head.
  2. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  3. I told my wife I was getting a new job as a mirror installer. She said, "That’s something I can see you doing."
  4. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? Don’t worry, he woke up.
  5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

πŸ₯΄ Weather and Seasons

  1. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s faster than walking.
  2. What did one snowflake say to the other? You’re one of a kind.
  3. Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter.
  4. What’s the best day to go to the beach? SUNday.
  5. Why do hurricanes always know where they’re going? They have degrees in meteorology.

Animal Antics Keep Coming

  1. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
  2. How do ducks make decisions? They quack under pressure.
  3. Why do crabs never share? They’re shellfish.
  4. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
  5. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

Health and Fitness Jokes

  1. Why did the skeleton start running? To get a head start.
  2. I started a fitness program for lazy people. It’s called Dumble-Door Exercises.
  3. Why don’t athletes ever get hot? They have fans everywhere they go.
  4. What did the weightlifter say to the barbell? You lift me up!
  5. Why was the gym so quiet? Everyone was doing their reps without talking.



More Knock-Knock Jokes

  1. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Lettuce.
    Lettuce who?
    Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!

  2. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Atch.
    Atch who?
    Bless you!

  3. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Boo.
    Boo who?
    Don’t cry; it’s just a joke!

  4. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Cow says.
    Cow says who?
    No, cow says moo!

  5. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Alpaca.
    Alpaca who?
    Alpaca the suitcase—you bring the snacks!

🧡 More Family-Friendly Humor

  1. Why did the dad go to art school? He wanted to draw more conclusions.
  2. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
  3. Why did the dad put a clock in his belt? He wanted to have time on his hands.
  4. Why did the dad bring a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains.
  5. Why did the dad throw a party on the lawn? Because he wanted to grass up his social life.

Travel and Adventure

  1. Why do pirates love long road trips? They love the “arrr”-iving part.
  2. What’s a plane’s favorite kind of music? Sky-rock.
  3. Why don’t maps ever get lost? They always know the way.
  4. Why was the suitcase sad? It felt left out.
  5. What do you call a funny plane? A laugh-a-jet.

Back to School Fun

  1. Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  2. Why was the chalk so quiet? It didn’t want to make a scene.
  3. Why did the pencil fail art class? It wasn’t sharp enough.
  4. Why did the eraser get promoted? It always made corrections.
  5. Why did the ruler go to therapy? It was feeling a bit bent out of shape.

πŸ‘πŸΌ Final Corny Gems

  1. I used to have a job as a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  2. Why don’t shoes ever get into arguments? They always tie things up.
  3. Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
  4. Why are ghosts bad at lying? You can see right through them.
  5. Why do calendars make great comedians? They’re always so up to date.

Unstoppable Dad Joke Fun

  1. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? To tie the score.
  2. Why can’t basketball players ever go on vacation? They’d get called for traveling.
  3. Why do birds always stick together? Because they’re flocking awesome.
  4. Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert? Because it was stuffed.
  5. Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.

Groan-Worthy Laughs

  1. Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To take his game to the next level.
  2. I told my family a joke about a boomerang… It didn’t come back to me.
  3. What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber.
  4. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
  5. Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up some pants.

Laughs at the Dinner Table

  1. Why did the baker become a comedian? Because he was good at muffin jokes.
  2. What do you call a cow that can play an instrument? A moo-sician.
  3. Why did the egg refuse to fight? It didn’t want to crack under pressure.
  4. What do you call a noodle that pretends to be something else? An impasta.
  5. Why did the bread break up with the butter? It thought things were toast.



Science Meets Dad Jokes

  1. Why did the astronaut bring a pencil to space? He wanted to draw some conclusions.
  2. How do you organize a galaxy party? You planet.
  3. Why didn’t the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.
  4. What’s the scariest plant in the universe? Bam-BOO.
  5. Why did the astronaut take his lunch to space? He needed a little rocket fuel.

More Knock-Knock Jokes

  1. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Harry.
    Harry who?
    Harry up and answer the door!

  2. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Tank.
    Tank who?
    You’re welcome!

  3. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Olive.
    Olive who?
    Olive you and I miss you.

  4. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Wooden shoe.
    Wooden shoe who?
    Wooden shoe like to know!

  5. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Hatch.
    Hatch who?
    Bless you!

Jokes for the Road (⊙_⊙)

  1. Why did the car get a flat? It was feeling a little tired.
  2. What do you call a motorcycle that tells jokes? A laugh-a-cycle.
  3. Why don’t trains ever get into fights? They just keep chugging along.
  4. Why did the bus stop tell a joke? It wanted to lighten the load.
  5. Why did the car refuse to play hide and seek? It couldn’t handle being out of park.

Classic Dad Humor That Never Gets Old

  1. Why do graveyards have fences? Because people are dying to get in.
  2. Why don’t vampires ever get sick? They have great blood circulation.
  3. Why did the fisherman buy a guitar? He wanted to string along his tales.
  4. What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.
  5. Why don’t calendars ever get tired? They’re always up to date.



The Finale: A Dad Joke for Every Day

  1. I told my family a joke about time travel… but they didn’t get it until yesterday.
  2. Why did the bank robber wash his clothes before his heist? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
  3. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt-quacks.
  4. I told my plant a joke… now it’s rooted in laughter.
  5. What’s a dad’s favorite kind of shoe? Sneakers, because they always have soul.
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